‘The Text Message That Prompted the End Of My Marriage'
Plus, the return of Capsule's book club, Brooke Fraser talks kids, turning 40 & coming back to NZ, and the ongoing risk of Long Covid
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The Divorce Diaries: ‘The Text Message That Prompted the End of My Marriage’
Maria and Jake divorced because of a text message. That’s how it started. From there, Maria watched as their marriage completely dissolved.
Maria and Jake had three children together, and had weathered a number of storms: the death of a sibling, illnesses (including a long, terrifying one with their child) and the divorces of both of their parents.
“I remember when Covid hit and things started to get stressful – a friend called to say she was on the brink of divorce – and I felt so calm,” says Maria. “We’d been through the wringer together already. This couldn’t shake us.”
But, a few months later, something didn’t feel right to Maria. It was as if the sands beneath her were moving. She couldn’t put her finger on it, but something was off.
“It reminds me of that bit in Home Alone when the mum is on the plane and feels like she’s forgotten something, but she doesn’t know what it is,” says Maria.
Then, one day the family was about to head to a friend’s new house. The got in the car and, realising they didn’t know where to go, Maria picked up Jake’s phone (which was paired to the car) to plug the address into maps.
Except, when she unlocked the phone, on the screen was messages between her husband and his best friend.
“I’ll never forget the message,” she says.
“Jake had written, ‘Honestly mate, I don’t think I’m even attracted to her anymore.’”
How Are You, Today… Brooke Fraser? The Kiwi Singer Talks Motherhood, Turning 40 and The Magic of The Creative Process
Today we chat to Brooke Fraser about becoming so famous, so young; how getting older has increased her confidence in what she says yes – and no – to and why becoming a mother has changed her creative process.
How has growing older increased your power as a musician but specifically as a songwriter?
Wisdom for the right yes’s, and the right no’s is something that comes with age and experience. I still have the song-writing bug, and I’m grateful for that – I don’t think I’ll ever get sick of that feeling when all of a sudden, that particular lyric comes and that particular phrase is ordered in just the right way, and the internal rhyme works with this sentence in this particular way. There’s so much mathematics in music, but there’s also so much mystery. And being a songwriter is to exist between maths and mystery, and that’s pretty wonderful.
The One Thing I Learned About Motherhood From Instagram That Was Actually Helpful
When it comes to looking to Instagram for useful motherhood advice, it can be a minefield. But there was one tip that Emma Clifton came across just before she gave birth that changed her experience as a first-time parent.
Between the algorithms, and the cutesy videos, my personal opinion is that Instagram is where a lot of good sense goes to die (especially when you’re a sleep-deprived parent). But in amongst my late-night scrollings, I found a concept that truly changed my experience as a first-time parent:
‘Raise your first as your third.’
In short, the concept is that first-time mothers get so caught up in the rules, schedules, must-haves, anxiety spirals and milestone panics that come with being a parent for the first time, they can often lose the joy, spontaneity and sweetness that comes with having a baby, because they are too stressed to relax into it.
But ‘raise your first as your third’ aims to take the ‘eh, whatever works’ attitude that parents of multiple children are (forced to be) good at and, in my opinion, it is quietly revolutionary.
The Capsule Book Club: Random in Death by J.D. Robb - A Romance-Laced Chick-Crime Novel With a Twist
Ata mārie team, and yes, our book club is BACK! With the support of our pals at The Warehouse, we’ll once again be bringing you our favourite book of the month, complete with our thoughts and reviews (of course, when have we NOT have an opinion!).
Capsule x The Warehouse
This month’s book is from an absolute legend of the chick-crime genre J.D. Robb’s (Nora Roberts) – in fact, it’s the 58th (?!) instalment in her ongoing In Death series. In Random in Death, Lieutenant Eve Dallas is on the case of the seemingly unconnected attacks on teenage girls who have dropped dead after being injected with a mystery substance. Eve and her partner Detective Delia Peabody have to race to figure out who is next, and why these crimes are happening. CUE SUSPENSE!
‘I Thought Covid Wasn’t Really a ‘Thing’ Anymore. Now I Have Long Covid’ One Woman’s Regret & Her Warning to Others
Now that Covid has become more of just a part of life and restrictions have lifted, have we forgotten about Long Covid? Reader Bianca says she got complacent, got caught up in the pressure of work and life to ‘push through’ and now, has paid the price…
Bianca was determined to stay well. It was the busiest time of year in her line of work as an accountant, and she was feeling the pressure. There was also only a couple of weeks until her daughter’s sixth birthday and she had begun setting aside time to construct the elaborate Frozen cake her she had requested for her party.
Mindful that getting a cold would put a real spanner in the works, Bianca had started driving to work instead of catching public transport and was wearing a mask when she went to crowded places, like the supermarket or her daughter’s favourite trampoline park. She hoped it might lessen her chances of picking something up.
But then, she woke up on Monday morning with a headache, sore glands and feeling unreasonably tired. Her mind was immediately doing mental gymnastics, working out what this might mean and how inconvenienced other people were going to be.
Hungry for More?
Here’s what we’ve read and loved this week. Check out some of this week's best stories from the web:
‘How I Got Scammed Out of $50,000’ The Cut
Did the Year 2020 Change Us Forever? New Yorker
Ambika Mod Didn’t See Herself as a Romantic Lead. Then One Day Happened. Elle
That’s it from us this week! Thanks for reading - we look forward to catching up with you again next week. In the meantime, if you have any thoughts on any of these posts today (or any others!) feel free to leave a message in the comments and we can have a chat!
Have a good week!
x The Capsule Team: Alice, Emma, Kelly & Sarah