The 60 Questions To Ask Before Getting Serious in Your Relationship
Plus, the pep talk you need to hear if you're single right now.
Kia Ora, Capsule Community! Welcome to your Sunday Substack.
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What We’re Thinking About This Week…
Mōrena!
Back when I (Emma) was a long-term single, I was lucky enough to have a best friend who was also a long-term single, and the pep talks we would give each other along the way that a) actually nothing was wrong with us and b) we were fine by ourselves, was the difference between being alone and being lonely.
(Now we both are at the stage where we have young children and we are never, ever alone, so we regularly text each other about wishing we could experience a solo Saturday night again. Such is life.)
But is in this supportive spirit that we asked comedians Brynley Stent & Kura Forrester, stars of the new YouTube series, Bryn & Ku’s Singles Club, to write each other a pep talk – and write the Capsule reader a pep talk – about being single.
In pop culture, being single is either the heights of Sex and the City – glamour! Cocktails! Exciting sex! – or the comic drudgery of Bridget Jones – pyjamas! Checking your voicemail for signs someone loves you! Being told you should settle for bad people!
The reality is somewhere in the middle, with more good than bad, but sometimes you need a sanity check from a friend who sees the real you, in amongst whatever life situation you are currently in the midst of, and says to you: you are doing okay, and no matter what, you’re going to be okay!
Wishing you a weekend of pep talks & good people xxx
The Pep Talk You Need To Hear If You're Single Right Now: By Singles Club Stars Brynley Stent & Kura Forrester
To celebrate the release of their new series, Bryn & Ku’s Singles Club, comedians Brynley Stent & Kura Forrester have written a pep talk for each other and for the Capsule reader about the joys, freedom, glory and sometimes trickiness of being single.
A thing that doesn't get talked about enough is that being single is quite often... absolutely amazing??! You have ownership of your life, your choices, your time and your space. It is empowering, and it is fun as hell. But sometimes in amongst the good and great times, there is the odd spiral moment where you hit a bit of a wall about being a one-woman band and, if you're lucky, you turn to your BFF for a sanity check.
Well, you've got an A-PLUS sanity check coming to you this week, from two of NZ's funniest comedians. Brynley Stent & Kura Forrester are the stars of the new series, Bryn & Ku’s Singles Club, produced by The Spinoff. It follows the girls as they head out on a cross-country quest to find love, and connect with other members of the singles club.
The Love Diaries: The 60 Questions You Should Ask Before Getting More Serious in Your Relationship
Divorce Coach Bridgette Jackson sees plenty of couples who have regrets about what they didn’t do before they got serious about their relationship – so, here’s what to ask your partner before taking the big next step to open communication and make sure you know exactly who you’re committing to!
Maybe you haven’t been dating very long, but you’re invested – you want to move in with this person, asap. Or maybe you’ve been dating a long time, living together even and you’ve got marriage on your mind. Or babies on your mind. Or buying a house together on your mind.
It can be such an exciting time taking the next step in your relationship, but, it’s also a good time to do a bit of due diligence and making sure you know exactly what, or rather who, you’re signing up for.
As a divorce coach, Bridgette Jackson from Equal Exes, most often sees couples when they’re in crisis. By the time they come to her, there’s a lot of history and a lot of baggage. But, there’s often also a lot of regret – particularly around communication. “If only we had discussed this!” “If only I knew that about them!” “If only I knew that is how they felt about that!” are things they often say.
‘I Sometimes Start Crying… What Am I Doing Wrong?’ How ‘Application Fatigue’ Is Hurting Kiwis Looking For Jobs In This Economy
People who have lost their jobs, or feel they need to leave their jobs, can experience something that makes the process much harder. How might someone deal with ‘application fatigue’ or ‘jobseeker burnout’ and move forward?
Alice*, a 26-year-old executive assistant from Auckland, is desperate to leave a job because of a difficult boss and unmanageable workload. “But I can’t leave until I find another job. I’ve sent off at least 15 applications in two months but haven’t got any interviews.”
“When I get an email that effectively says ‘thanks but no thanks’, I sometimes start crying. Like, what am I doing wrong? It’s hard to keep putting yourself out there after rejections. And it’s mentally exhausting, writing all those cover letters and tweaking your CV each time. It’s like ‘hey, who wants to reject me next after I spend a heap of time applying?’.” The fact that some companies don’t even get in touch to say ‘no thanks’ bothers her, too.
For all of you who are collecting those cute packs for the kids (or yourself, we’re not judging!) at the supermarket, this little announcement is for you (there’s freebies!)
Capsule x Woolworths
Ok team, we know that helping your kid (or yourself!) collect the Minecraft Cubeez is a wild ride, so we’re here to make that a little bit easier – plus, we have news on the cutest little pop up happening in Auckland next Saturday that you might want to hop along to to win that coveted parent of the year title!
Has the procuring of those cute little Cubeez packs at Woolworths been dominating the chat in your household? New Zealand has gone Cubeez mad – but now you can bring the sought-after collectibles to life with an adorable little sandwich pop up in Tāmaki Makaurau.
Yup, next Saturday you can head along to the FREE Cubeez Sandwich Station at Point Erin Park, Auckland from 11am – 3pm. It’ll offer gaming fans of all ages the chance to experience the Minecraft universe through Minecraft-inspired cubed sandwiches (seriously, how CUTE).
Minecraft fans and keen collectors can choose from a range of Minecraft Cubeez -inspired sandwiches free from the food truck and she’s a creative wee menu - blending iconic Minecraft foods with real world ingredients, guests can choose from a “Cooked Chicken” sandwich, a sweet and wobbly “Slimes Jelly Delight” or a honey-glazed ham “Golden Apple Treat” pairing. For those who want a bit of a kick, go for a sweet chili sausage and bacon “Fiery Piglin Stack”.
They’re made with the best of Woolworths’ Own range, they’re fresh, tasty and you get a free Cubeez to add to the collection, plus you can stay and play with the life-size Cubeez blocks.
You’ll have to be quick off the blocks for this one (see what we did there)!
AAAND if that’s not enough, keep your eyes peeled to our Instagram this week for an incredible little competition, where we’ll be giving away a WHOLE SET of Minecraft Cubeez – with all 40 Cubeez included – PLUS an epic bundle of exclusive Minecraft merch.
Stay tuned!
‘We Are Watching The Swift, Global Degradation of Anything Joyful, Safe & Free… In Place of Rising Fear & Anger’
The hate crime at the family rainbow event by Destiny Church members is yet another dreadful example of the toxic masculinity that is taking over our political and community spaces.
On a recent trip to London, my family and I went to the Imperial War Museum and for the most part, it was a good place to take a toddler. War is loud, so a monument built to house weapons and tanks and former bombs is an okay place to have a small, chatty child darting about. That was until we got to the Holocaust memorial, which is one of the most silent places you can go.
The exhibition was set up to walk you through the journey of real-life newspaper covers and escalating headlines, featuring the rise of the Nazis and their targeting of minorities, from the early 1930s through until the photos of the concentration camps in the early 1940s. You know the photos. You know where those hate crimes eventually led. It didn’t start off with people being herded into trains, it started off with casual violence and minorities being targeted in public areas. It started with the normalisation of hatred.
We are watching the swift, global degradation of anything joyful, safe and free in place of rising fear and anger. I feel it. You feel it. Things are not good, and this fear and anger has been making its way into our backyards for a while.
Hungry for More?
Here’s what we’ve read and loved this week. Check out some of this week's best stories from the web:
Low-Energy Habits That Improved My Mental Health Substack
Therapy Is Good. These Therapists Are Bad. NY Times
How Our Pants Fit McSweeney’s
That’s it from us this week! Thanks for reading - we look forward to catching up with you again next week. In the meantime, if you have any thoughts on any of these posts today (or any others!) feel free to leave a message in the comments and we can have a chat!
Have a good week!
x The Capsule Team: Alice, Emma, Kelly & Sarah