How To Build A Capsule Wardrobe When You've Forgotten How To Dress
Plus, pleasure in Paris, and a tribute to Dr Michael Mosley
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The Interview That Was The Antidote To Our Mid-Winter Blues
Sometimes you just need a reminder about why you do the job you do.
Kia Ora, Capsule Community!
I regret to inform you that sometimes even when you create your own dream job, there are times when you are still struck by the Monday doldrums. It’s been a hard year – the global events are taking a toll on all of us, the cost-of-living crisis is biting and the winter weather has begun. The term ‘moral injury’ has been used to describe the bruised feeling many - most? - of us are feeling at this point of the year as the bad news seems to encroach on all sides.
That is how I (Emma) was feeling on Monday, before I spoke to Bhargavi (Arkie) Addappa, who is one of the spokespeople helping Dress For Success Auckland celebrate 25 years. Arkie grew up in India, in an abusive family, all sharing a small clay hut. It took tremendous financial sacrifice from her mother to get her out of India, and away from the family. She is the first woman in her family to complete her schooling, and the first member of the family to get a white-collar job.
In her late 30s now, it has taken a superhuman effort from Arkie to go from living in poverty, to working as a fruit picker to fund her university studies, to getting a six-figure income in a corporate job. She came across Dress For Success early on after moving to NZ, when she needed to break through the barriers placed on her in her career and through the charity’s many workshops, she has - as she puts it - learned to “own her awesomeness.” She in turn is now deeply enthusiastic about making sure other women know that they can survive their darkest days and rise above their circumstances - the work that Dress For Success has been doing for so long.
Arkie’s story is one that reminds me of why we started Capsule - to tell women’s stories, to tell joyful and honest stories, to shine a spotlight on people who deserve it. If you also need a reminder that good things can happen to good people, I think you will enjoy getting to know more about Arkie.
How To Build A Capsule Wardrobe On A Budget
If you’re tired of staring into your wardrobe and thinking ‘I have nothing to wear’ or, like Capsule’s Emma Clifton, you suddenly need a whole new wardrobe because you’re not sure how to dress like an adult, you might find a capsule wardrobe is the answer to your problems.
Whether you’re building a new wardrobe from scratch or you just need a few key items and new outfit ideas, we’ve got inspiration on the key pieces that can help create a capsule wardrobe.
Capsule x The Warehouse
Somewhere between the pandemic, pregnancy, and postpartum, I have… completely forgotten how to dress like an adult. Maybe I never really knew? But now, every time I have to wear anything that isn’t loungewear, a mist of confusion comes over me.
Enter… the Capsule wardrobe. (Capsule’s Capsule wardrobe? The Capsule² Wardrobe? Yes, we have enjoyed this pun a bit too much.) The capsule wardrobe is a concept of having a wardrobe of timeless pieces that you can mix and match to create multiple different outfits, to stop you from getting overwhelmed when it comes to getting dressed in the morning.
If you are someone who absolutely loves clothes and loves creating outfits, this probably sounds like a boring set of maths and it’s not for you. But if you’re someone who regularly stares into your wardrobe and thinks ‘there is nothing here’, then simplifying your closet down and adding in a few missing pieces could save you time and stress.
THE ONE THING… ‘I Wish People Would Stop Saying to Me as the Mum of a Two-Year-Old’
Ever since having her daughter two years ago, Caitlin has been hearing the same question - over and over again. And it’s driving her absolutely crazy.
Caitlin and her husband Steve very much hoped that one day, they would be parents. But after a year of trying, with no success, they went down the IVF route – spending a considerable amount of time, money, stress and tears to finally bring their little daughter into this world.
“It was the hardest few years of my life,” says Caitlin. “I had two miscarriages. I thought we’d never end up with a baby.”
But now, they are a family of three – and while Caitlin and Steve still mourn the loss of their first two babies, they are besotted with their daughter.
Caitlin says she feels proud wherever she takes her daughter – watching other people smile when they see her beaming smile. Although, while she loves hearing people coo over her daughter, there’s one thing she’s sick to death of hearing.
“Honestly? The number of people who ask when or if we’re going to have another is insane,” she says. “And people have been asking me this basically since she was born. It’s so intrusive.”
Caitlin says it’s also a very triggering question for her.
The Deliciously Horny New Memoir That Is All About Pleasure
I’m Mostly Here To Enjoy Myself is delightful new memoir, out this week, which tells the story of Glynnis MacNicol, a child-free and single woman who heads to Paris after a year of Covid lockdown in New York to eat and touch her way around the world’s horniest city. It is as delicious as you can imagine.
New York-based writer Glynnis MacNicol has emerged from the first year of the Covid lockdown – it’s spring 2021, and she hasn’t been touched for a year. Child-free and single, Glynnis has stayed behind in New York while those who can flee have, and the hallways of her apartment block are so empty, she can hear the rats start to run around. In fact, the person she has the most regular contact with during this time is the local exterminator.
New York is empty, lonely, and tragic – and then there is a brief window where summer arrives, the vaccine lands and the promise of a new ‘Roaring Twenties’ is dangled. Emboldened by this sudden surge of momentum, Glynnis books her regular apartment in Paris – where she has travelled and written books in the past – to enjoy a summer of pleasure.
Of course, Covid has other plans. Before she has even left, the Covid-19 variant Delta is starting to cause destruction, and the whole trip is almost derailed before it starts. Glynnis is aware that leaving might mean being trapped outside of America, but the risk of more time spent alone in a rapidly shutting down New York is more vicious. So she goes.
‘I’m mostly here to enjoy myself’ is the answer she gives to one curious Parisian once she does arrive in the City of Lights. Almost empty of tourists, the city is filled with equally pent-up locals who are looking to experience life and each other after months of solitude.
If you’re worried this is a book about Covid, don’t be – it’s just the starting block. This book is a literal romp dedicated to pleasure – Glynnis is in Paris for five hot weeks to eat and touch her way around the world’s horniest city. This book is DELICIOUS, both in terms of the evocative descriptions of French food, but also in its purely pleasure-focused content.
‘When We Learned the Identity of Our Stalker, My Husband And I Couldn’t Believe It.’
As we discussed last week, shockingly, stalking is currently not a crime in New Zealand. But, it does appear to be common – and, incredibly disturbing. It most often is a woman who is stalked – and, in most cases her stalker is someone she knows, likely an ex. But, as we learned from Capsule reader Kylie, this isn’t always the case…
The first phone call came two weeks after Kylie and Shane’s wedding.
“My parents are of that generation who don’t really ‘trust’ mobile phones for an emergency,” says Kylie. “We had a landline that really only they would call, or scammers.”
So, the phone – that was right next to Kylie’s side of the bed – ringing at 3am, was an entirely unprecedented experience.
Startled awake, Kylie picked up the phone only to hear silence on the other end. She hung up after asking ‘is anyone there?!’ a few times and then tried to go back to sleep. Another 20 mins later though, the phone rung again. This time Shane answered, and again was met by silence.
“We checked our mobiles and had no missed calls,” says Kylie. “It was a Friday night, so we decided it must be kids doing a prank call.”
So, they pulled the phone out of the wall and both turned on the volume on their cell phones, just in case it really was someone trying to get through to them in an emergency.
But then, after plugging the phone back in, the next night at 4am the same thing happened – two phone calls, 20 mins apart, both with absolutely no noise from the other end.
The Devastating Loss Of Dr Michael Mosley: A Tribute To A Man Missed By Many
Sarah Lang had been anxiously waiting for news of Dr Michael Mosley, the popular journalist, presenter and author who went missing in Greece last week. His death was officially announced this morning, and Sarah pays tribute to a man who helped so many people around the world, and who became her friend.
Dr Michael Mosley was so prolific that I joked that he must have cloned himself to get so much done. He had multiple projects underway at any one time. He was a trained doctor (not a practising one), an award-winning science journalist and columnist, a BBC TV presenter and documentary-maker specialising in science and medicine, a radio broadcaster, an Emmy-nominated executive producer, the co-presenter of live shows that he created and staged with his wife, and the host of hit podcast ‘Just One Thing’, which he recently turned into the book Just One Thing: How Simple Changes Can Improve Your Life. He authored many (I think 15) books, most about diet and health, and one about sleep.
I interviewed him four times, thrice for North & South magazine, and once for the Listener, and we joked that I was New Zealand’s Michael Mosley correspondent. He was warm and down-to-earth. We met in person twice. Once over lunch with my mum, who had reversed her pre-diabetes by following the advice in his book The 8-Week Blood Sugar Diet; Michael had actually reversed his own diabetes that way.
While I was interviewing him over lunch, my mum talked a LOT, which was fine except I needed to finish my questions first! I shot her a ‘Mum!’ look, Michael clocked that dynamic and laughed. I had also failed to order enough food for lunch, but he said he wasn’t super hungry and complimented the tofu.
I also interviewed him onstage for an author event. At one point, my mind went blank as to what my follow-up question was, and he quietly noticed that, and started telling a funny story until I got my bearings.
Shielding Versus Informing: How Much Should We Tell Our Kids About The War In Gaza?
Should we talk to our children about the war in Gaza, and if so when and how? We asked child psychologist Dr Emma Woodward for her advice
The other week, my nine-year-old son quietly materialised behind my shoulder when I was scrolling through news headlines on my phone. He saw a headline about the Gaza War and said ‘Mum, what is that war about?’. I quickly put down my phone and said ‘You’re too young to know about this! I’ll tell you when you’re older’.” He said “but Mum, I’m curious and I need to know things about the world!”
I mean, he has a point.
I’m definitely not the only parent who wants to shield their children from news about disturbing world events. We don’t want to upset them. We don’t want to overwhelm them. We don’t want them to feel anxious. But is shielding them the best thing to do – and, realistically, can we even shield them?
Thankfully, Dr Emma Woodward has some advice. The child psychologist is the founder of the Child Psychology Service: a New Zealand team of experienced child and adolescent psychologists. She is also a mother of four boys.
“This is an important topic,” Emma says. “You’re right that it’s a delicate balancing act. We don’t want to overburden our children with issues that could interfere with their development during childhood and their sense of the world as a safe place. But, actually, we’re not their only source and influence. They do hear things in the playground. They do see things over our shoulders. They might see things on YouTube. So it’s really important to check in with them to make sure there aren’t any misunderstandings or misconceptions that they’re worried about.”
Hungry for More?
Here’s what we’ve read and loved this week. Check out some of this week's best stories from the web:
‘You Can’t Manifest The Birth You Want’: The Reality Behind The ‘Natural Birth’ Obsession The Guardian
The ‘Glow Down’ Is the New Glow Up The Cut
Practical Magic Is Getting A Sequel - Will The Dream House Return Too? Lainey Gossip
That’s it from us this week! Thanks for reading - we look forward to catching up with you again next week. In the meantime, if you have any thoughts on any of these posts today (or any others!) feel free to leave a message in the comments and we can have a chat!
Have a good week!
x The Capsule Team: Alice, Emma, Kelly & Sarah